13 by 13 — things that are left and lucky
1
close to home and driving away
a car crash
I memorized the exact moment — the kid looked the other way and then turned to hit me
my watch was thrown off — the left side of my body absorbed the shock holding onto the wheel
but the police report started with a 13 so there would be some luck
2
a number, a date, a floor, an elevator
the number of both bad and good
luck all possible 13
the date in November I was born
3
I was holding my mother’s hand and telling her stories as she died
It was around 10:11 or 10:12 but I sought out the doctor and asked if the time of death could be recorded as 10:13
for the certificate of death
If I look at my watch then I stop to say a prayer
4
green and orange are three 3s
1 is always white
the colors of India’s flag
and wind come to mind
wafting in the warmth
5
my son, Jack has 13 names
Dymock Eucalyptus Hedwig
Antoville Russell Quimby Matisse Picasso
November Pink Fox Weeden
an array of colors and combos to choose – my most heartfelt gift
6
fortune cookies – many have a number 13
with 13 the fortune would more likely come true
— truth gets written if it occurs to one
7
the math involved, of scant numerology
for example
exact time of birth
6:21 PM — that’s two threes
recombine them all and divide and add shape
8
the 13th floor, elevator shoots us into the sky
911 when
little story songs jumped around
as we hum heal to ourselves
little licks and tricks
9
in California PBS is the smart show
channel 13
10
names, numbers, faces
cards, relationships. Die being thrown out onto a table
racing to walk and run
soccer jerseys – lucky 13s
explore the concept of luck
11
31 Flavors ice cream
I transposed the numbers. there were always more than 31
My favorites pistachio and peach double scoop sugar cone melting down my arm in the sun
loving
12
my son lost the bracelet with his 13 names
at the beach
just now
maybe now riding 13 names on waves
/ / / / /
He Asked and We Married Twice
He wrote out the proposal which asked me to check one box – yes? no? maybe?– on a Sweet & Low packet.
With time to spare on the morning of the first wedding, a few of my friends and I watched glass bead necklaces being threaded in the bazaar.
Late morning, his sister threw a hissy fit and I had to intervene between her and the travel agent.
The wedding was to take place in a monastery that very same November Nepal afternoon and I almost missed it.
My mom had asked if he got my engagement ring from a box of Cracker Jacks.
Number two wedding would be official so mom asked me to think about it carefully. I had to decide for myself and happened to be invited to an ayahuasca ceremony in the West Village – where I took the opportunity to ask the big question again — should I marry him?
Full of hallucinogenic ayahuasca, I dreamt I was drowning, he rescued me, then gently lifted me to the water’s surface to breathe.
The second wedding was planned for Central Park but it rained and we ended up being married in dark Pandora’s Box Restaurant by a man who married non-baptized people. He almost burned the only copy of my poem-studded nuptials.
Years later, to thank her for introducing us, I gave his sister one of my mother’s slender rings, which she promptly lost.