“We Have Aaron Hernandez’s Brain”
Hearing it said while out for a walk — for relief
from that cramped apartment — approaching
a huddled group on college tour. Then passing
that group and the campus tour guide
who said it so pleased to have strayed off
script, by startling score the deepest impression,
attract the most prospects — students — more,
their parents — to invest — next fall —
in the school’s unique method of helping you both
find your passion and the best way to pursue. “We have
Aaron Hernandez’s brain.” Not a flinch
from the audience in the freezing spring rain
on Commonwealth, in front of the newly donated center
where the brain is guarded. Clear of the scene,
marking that as a thin slice shaved for research,
and evident under microscope the hollowed
summation from continual minor blows like those
delivered by the guide. Thinking You do have
Hernandez’s brain, if this allowed; owned,
yourself distancing from family, friends, life,
love somewhere. Asking Where is your heart?
My own studded star of Football Nation who fell
from grace, committed and absorbed heinous crimes,
all misguided — the present thinking, at least — by CTE —
like Hernandez, sometimes I can’t find my heart.
Alive, though, I might return to huddle up and bark,
“This isn’t an institution one should attend or a future
direction after.” No, just question, “Which college
has the heart?” And say, “If a parent, definitely,
I’d want my child to apply there.” But in saying,
so doing a strident end zone strut. Do what, then?
Prancing up the street, a toy dog, leash in its mouth,
master missing. Done. Though toy lingering in my head,
hearing an announcer say, “Just gaining separation,”
while on TV a split — not tight — end breaking open,
ball already in the air. And then, out of nowhere,
the beaten safety tackling before completion,
the smart thing to do, better than give up that score.