Poetry |

“Pilgrims” & “Postcard”

Pilgrims

 

 

With the sun fevered on his flesh,

he’d traverse our driveway, take,

with each step, mental measurements

 

of the ground, the grass, practicing,

beneath his mumbled breath, the pitch

he had pitched in neighborhoods for years.

 

I’d imagine his journey from his truck

to our door as something biblical, part

of a story where a man — the progeny

 

of sin that doesn’t skip a generation —

must leave his wife and son at home,

search the most obscure corners of the earth

 

for work. And this was it, a constellation

of motor homes, half-built houses

and houses no larger than shacks,

 

which regardless of what profit they yielded,

he kept returning to, because men like him,

as I assumed from his sweat and sun-

 

branded skin, had crossed the same river

my father crossed to get here, and knew

what it meant to trek the limbo

 

where a country ends. And because

my father poured his body into twelve-hour

shifts, they shared, without knowing it

 

or each other, more than brotherhood

or bond, and more than I could understand

when I’d answer the door, tell him,

 

in a Spanish that wasn’t mine to own,

that we had our own equipment,

that we would soon mow the lawn,

 

tame a world I was happy to describe

not as neglected, but overgrown.

 

 

◆     ◆     ◆    ◆     ◆

 

 

 

Postcard

 

 

Across the half-opened, heat-worn window,

a sharp and sudden glare pierces the wrinkled

 

tint of glass, thaws the drowsy map of creases

on my temples, cheeks, on my eyes still too sticky

 

to open completely. My reflection, phantom-like

and weak, yawns slowly into frame, studies me

 

as I restart my game, count the steady flow

of passing plates: the Oklahoma’s, Arizona’s,

 

one lost Hawaii far from anything that mirrors

paradise — the sea swapped for mirages on the steep

 

humps of interstate, on the cloudless and drought-

parched plains, where acres of grazing cattle,

 

thinned almost to carcasses, blur quickly into

a camera flash. See the flash, see the boy,

 

see the jagged shades of anonymous trees drape

the hills all day, feel the buckled claustrophobia

 

of his backseat body, as his father’s voice,

heavy with the hum of asphalt, announces

 

the miles they still have left. This is a cross-state

drive of faded billboards, endless sagebrush,

 

crowded rest stops and unemployed landmarks,

a countryside the boy quietly grows to accept,

 

until they reach the first signs of city life

at a motel parking lot, where his family stops,

 

checks and settles in, inhales the stale history

of their room’s neglect, the whitewashed

 

wallpaper peeling back like dead skin,

the watermarks of broken pipes still bleeding

 

through the floral-patterned designs,

and the off-colored lines of missing landscape

 

paintings that left only a stained remnant of art.

Even with their absence, with the running

 

faucet, television static, the boy listens to his

silhouetted mother at the doorway,

 

to the soft creak as she leans against

the splintered frame, speaks to the faceless

 

maid with a posture he can’t pronounce,

with the ease in which they exchange accounts

 

of their former lives, the slow, back and forth

roll of their Spanish tongues echoed with

 

an accent of diaspora, a past he doesn’t need

her translation to understand, and doesn’t want

 

now that night, glazed in a string of theme park

lights, mutes him into a first-time awe,

 

a newfound sense of ordinariness walking

blindly through the crowd, or with the warm

 

and soda-scented breeze hugging him as he watches

the rusted myriad of rides, stares down at the height

 

of his own legs swaying from a Ferris wheel car,

weightless on that iron constellation of fun,

 

that clockwise cycle of perspective lasting

just enough, that when he steps off, finds

 

his mother and father standing like aged pillars

of salt, he’s sure he’s captured a life

 

meant for someone else.

Contributor
Esteban Rodriguez

Esteban Rodríguez is the author of eight poetry collections, most recently Lotería (Texas Review Press, 2023), and the essay collection Before the Earth Devours Us (Split/Lip Press, 2021). His work has appeared in New England Review, Seneca Review, Colorado Review, Adroit Journal, Poetry Daily, and American Life in Poetry. He is the interviews editor at the EcoTheo Review, senior book reviews editor at Tupelo Quarterly, and associate poetry editor at AGNI. With Jennifer De Leon and Ben Black, he coedited To Never Have Risked Our Lives: An AGNI Portfolio of Central American and Mexican Diaspora Writing. He lives with his family in south Texas.

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